And after it all, I'm back. Blogs are for personal reflection I guess, and I talk when there're things on my mind, but then again there're always things on my mind. How can this be? Oh what a conundrum.

Anyway, time to reflect. For some period of time I wasn't feeling too good about school, well not school in general but grades. It just seemed like I was under performing, or even worse that I wasn't good enough for HP. It's not like I don't care, just that I'm too lazy I guess, which some people amount to the same thing. I suppose the two are almost alike, it's just my way of rationalizing my stupidity. So back to grades, I was doing badly and not getting satisfactory results for anything. It's really sad that I didn't get good grades, I mean it's blatantly obvious that I'm capable of much more, or at least that's what others say. And it really doesn't help that my class is the smartest damn class in the whole cohort, that's not to say that they aren't nice people, just that they really can't help getting good grades in the face of such failures like me. Well not failures, lazy bastards. (According to the Australians "bastard" is an affectionate, endearing term, which is how I'm using it in this context)

So, so, so. Everything looked bleak, a barren sea, a desolate desert of nothingness. One of my major concerns was literature. In fact it seems odd to be that I'm in HP when my literature obviously isn't of standard. I can't seem to see things beyond face value, and all attempts to do so prove futile. Frankly I was hoping for anything above a B3 for this term and I got an A2. Which to me is great. But then again somehow when I meet my expectations for something I find myself regretting not getting better marks. I mean how different would getting 18/20 from the start be from getting 17/20 then finding a calculation error and marking up the grade to an A2. Nothing. It's all in the mind obviously. And so I lamented for a little while, before giving up. There's really nothing to be done but work harder I guess.

My salvation came in the form of the expository essay. Or argumentative essay or whatever I'm still not sure. I believe, and I feel this is not a baseless one, that my forte lies in creative writing and in that aspect I'm not exactly bad. I'm just lazy to do shit I guess. But anyway after the exam I felt pretty good, though that's not saying much seeing as I always feel good after most tests. After coming back from Australia (hoo boy I realize that there's a lot I want to say now) and getting the paper back, it was like having a giant pot of leprechaun gold bestowed upon you. Some happy, magical thing. Oh and how wonderful it was, to finally prove something right, show myself that I'm worthy. (24/30, I say I could have gotten higher, but everyone got capped at 24, which is dumb but not the point now, overall I got 74.9%). Grades do matter a lot to me, more that other people think at any rate, and that's really something else that I can talk about.

But for now this is it I guess, jumbled up thoughts which probably are at a disconnect from whatever I outlined in the starting paragraphs. No matter, at least I said something worth reading (I'm hoping). A reflection of grades.

And after it all, I'm back. Blogs are for personal reflection I guess, and I talk when there're things on my mind, but then again there're always things on my mind. How can this be? Oh what a conundrum.

Anyway, time to reflect. For some period of time I wasn't feeling too good about school, well not school in general but grades. It just seemed like I was under performing, or even worse that I wasn't good enough for HP. It's not like I don't care, just that I'm too lazy I guess, which some people amount to the same thing. I suppose the two are almost alike, it's just my way of rationalizing my stupidity. So back to grades, I was doing badly and not getting satisfactory results for anything. It's really sad that I didn't get good grades, I mean it's blatantly obvious that I'm capable of much more, or at least that's what others say. And it really doesn't help that my class is the smartest damn class in the whole cohort, that's not to say that they aren't nice people, just that they really can't help getting good grades in the face of such failures like me. Well not failures, lazy bastards. (According to the Australians "bastard" is an affectionate, endearing term, which is how I'm using it in this context)

So, so, so. Everything looked bleak, a barren sea, a desolate desert of nothingness. One of my major concerns was literature. In fact it seems odd to be that I'm in HP when my literature obviously isn't of standard. I can't seem to see things beyond face value, and all attempts to do so prove futile. Frankly I was hoping for anything above a B3 for this term and I got an A2. Which to me is great. But then again somehow when I meet my expectations for something I find myself regretting not getting better marks. I mean how different would getting 18/20 from the start be from getting 17/20 then finding a calculation error and marking up the grade to an A2. Nothing. It's all in the mind obviously. And so I lamented for a little while, before giving up. There's really nothing to be done but work harder I guess.

My salvation came in the form of the expository essay. Or argumentative essay or whatever I'm still not sure. I believe, and I feel this is not a baseless one, that my forte lies in creative writing and in that aspect I'm not exactly bad. I'm just lazy to do shit I guess. But anyway after the exam I felt pretty good, though that's not saying much seeing as I always feel good after most tests. After coming back from Australia (hoo boy I realize that there's a lot I want to say now) and getting the paper back, it was like having a giant pot of leprechaun gold bestowed upon you. Some happy, magical thing. Oh and how wonderful it was, to finally prove something right, show myself that I'm worthy. (24/30, I say I could have gotten higher, but everyone got capped at 24, which is dumb but not the point now, overall I got 74.9%). Grades do matter a lot to me, more that other people think at any rate, and that's really something else that I can talk about.

But for now this is it I guess, jumbled up thoughts which probably are at a disconnect from whatever I outlined in the starting paragraphs. No matter, at least I said something worth reading (I'm hoping). A reflection of grades.

Kay Han
21
I like writing, though I can't say that I'm terribly good at it


Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | Instagram

Message me if you've been here and have something to say, would really appreciate it

Feedback Form

Joyce | footballbear on wordpress
Message me if you'd like to be up here


By post (current posts):
Welcome back : Not that anyone notices
Birthday Cakes
Commitment.
--
Oops.
Not Fulfilling
Happiness Project
It's The Same Thing
Bleurgh
Happy New Year!(:

---

By month:
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
May 2011
June 2011
August 2011
May 2012
June 2012
February 2013
March 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
August 2015
October 2015
November 2015
February 2017
May 2017
December 2017


Layout designed by Eunice. Font, banner image changed by Kay Han. Color codes from Colourlovers and Color Picker Tool. Banner's base image can be found at My Photobucket.