entering into week 4 [of the holidays][now its week 8][of term 3]
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Wow, I've certainly put this off for a long time, and more than once as you shall see. Anyway I realise, again (and in rather cliche manner really), that I miss keeping track of things and having enough to reminisce about later on. But youth's a stuff will not endure, and I should be enjoying life no? In rather ironic fashion, life is getting harder with each passing day - though I'm sure it would be improving were I studying as much as I should. Okay more to say later, here's what I wrote and left untouched since June (while studying for blocks):
"Wow it's been a long time since I was here, and frankly I'm not really sure if the time spent neglecting this has come to much fruition. Certainly, much has changed since September of 2014, but I mean it's
only been about 9 months, what's new? I guess this lies in the expedient nature of education in rushing us through different distinct phases in our life (as dictated by the structures of the systems we are in). With each year that passes we face a new set of tasks and expectations, and environments that we have to adapt to. The jumps from year to year are rather significant, I imagine my temporary liberation from education will far surpass my previous encounters with these feelings of relief, jubilation, ecstasy.
I say expedient because yes our education system is effective, but I think misses out on some things. More should be done to reconcile the vast differences that lie in our education system, perspective is important for everybody, to realise that the world does exist outside of the parameters of one's own environment. Yes, current affairs is a good thing to emphasise, knowledge of happenings around the globe and in our own country give us a better understanding of things. But I feel these broad generalities should be supplemented with detail, with experience, with feeling. I profess that I don't have many friends from a wide range of JC's, let alone Poly's or ITE's, and so I don't understand how their experiences differ from mine. I hear things, from friends of friends, and see them from time to time (but unsure whether they're representative of everyone - which is why it's always good to be on your best behaviour when in school uniform), but that's as far as it gets and I'm pretty sure that's less than the tip of the iceberg. Maybe exchanges, more inter-school games, but I conceit the best situation would have people interaction on their own volition (build more common spaces!). Okay solutions aren't my strong suit, and neither is analysis (...), and I think I'm going off on a tangent here (though what's the point idk).
I wonder how much pretense and affectation I give into and indulge in when I write, but I wouldn't be confident in asserting that it is only a small amount. A lot of rhetoric is involved too I feel hahaha, and whether all this is done consciously or not is not a question I readily have the answer to. I think the audience matters too, and I write as a means of catharsis (so that's for myself), and to let people conclude what they like from what I say (maybe to be more of an open book) - I think last time I used to say something like give people a more positive mentality, or something like that, and I guess that's still the case, but I can't find the words to put it as poignantly as I did before.
So I'll just be dumping in a lot of stuff that I wanted to write about but haven't (but... now I have).
I question a lot of things about myself, and I wonder whether some of this would be better directed to the things around me. I think this is based on my acceptance that I'm flawed, and that it's also easier to change something wrong about myself than something else around me. So that's a brave acceptance of my own weaknesses and shortcomings (possibly belying a fundamental lack of self confidence and belief in oneself), and a realistic, nuanced view of the complexities of the environment and recognition that the world does not exist for me alone (possibly because I'm too lazy, reluctant, and (very likely) scared of trying to change things and challenge the status quo). I don't like putting people down, or making them feel bad, so whatever feelings or thoughts I have, I attribute to my own lack of understanding or flaws.
We are all con-artists really, and our easiest marks are ourselves." <- this wasn't meant to be an attempt at a powerful concluding statement, but if you think about it could be intentionally so, given my predilection for procrastination (and big words, says Mr. White - "looks like they taught you to swallow a dictionary in high school" *in strong, often incomprehensible, English accent*), and thus a statement to the reader that while I tried to write something to disprove my "predilection for procrastination", I failed, thus "con[ing]" myself, and confirming what I said yet disproving my intentions in quite paradoxical fashion
God, that was pretentious.
entering into week 4 [of the holidays][now its week 8][of term 3]
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Wow, I've certainly put this off for a long time, and more than once as you shall see. Anyway I realise, again (and in rather cliche manner really), that I miss keeping track of things and having enough to reminisce about later on. But youth's a stuff will not endure, and I should be enjoying life no? In rather ironic fashion, life is getting harder with each passing day - though I'm sure it would be improving were I studying as much as I should. Okay more to say later, here's what I wrote and left untouched since June (while studying for blocks):
"Wow it's been a long time since I was here, and frankly I'm not really sure if the time spent neglecting this has come to much fruition. Certainly, much has changed since September of 2014, but I mean it's
only been about 9 months, what's new? I guess this lies in the expedient nature of education in rushing us through different distinct phases in our life (as dictated by the structures of the systems we are in). With each year that passes we face a new set of tasks and expectations, and environments that we have to adapt to. The jumps from year to year are rather significant, I imagine my temporary liberation from education will far surpass my previous encounters with these feelings of relief, jubilation, ecstasy.
I say expedient because yes our education system is effective, but I think misses out on some things. More should be done to reconcile the vast differences that lie in our education system, perspective is important for everybody, to realise that the world does exist outside of the parameters of one's own environment. Yes, current affairs is a good thing to emphasise, knowledge of happenings around the globe and in our own country give us a better understanding of things. But I feel these broad generalities should be supplemented with detail, with experience, with feeling. I profess that I don't have many friends from a wide range of JC's, let alone Poly's or ITE's, and so I don't understand how their experiences differ from mine. I hear things, from friends of friends, and see them from time to time (but unsure whether they're representative of everyone - which is why it's always good to be on your best behaviour when in school uniform), but that's as far as it gets and I'm pretty sure that's less than the tip of the iceberg. Maybe exchanges, more inter-school games, but I conceit the best situation would have people interaction on their own volition (build more common spaces!). Okay solutions aren't my strong suit, and neither is analysis (...), and I think I'm going off on a tangent here (though what's the point idk).
I wonder how much pretense and affectation I give into and indulge in when I write, but I wouldn't be confident in asserting that it is only a small amount. A lot of rhetoric is involved too I feel hahaha, and whether all this is done consciously or not is not a question I readily have the answer to. I think the audience matters too, and I write as a means of catharsis (so that's for myself), and to let people conclude what they like from what I say (maybe to be more of an open book) - I think last time I used to say something like give people a more positive mentality, or something like that, and I guess that's still the case, but I can't find the words to put it as poignantly as I did before.
So I'll just be dumping in a lot of stuff that I wanted to write about but haven't (but... now I have).
I question a lot of things about myself, and I wonder whether some of this would be better directed to the things around me. I think this is based on my acceptance that I'm flawed, and that it's also easier to change something wrong about myself than something else around me. So that's a brave acceptance of my own weaknesses and shortcomings (possibly belying a fundamental lack of self confidence and belief in oneself), and a realistic, nuanced view of the complexities of the environment and recognition that the world does not exist for me alone (possibly because I'm too lazy, reluctant, and (very likely) scared of trying to change things and challenge the status quo). I don't like putting people down, or making them feel bad, so whatever feelings or thoughts I have, I attribute to my own lack of understanding or flaws.
We are all con-artists really, and our easiest marks are ourselves." <- this wasn't meant to be an attempt at a powerful concluding statement, but if you think about it could be intentionally so, given my predilection for procrastination (and big words, says Mr. White - "looks like they taught you to swallow a dictionary in high school" *in strong, often incomprehensible, English accent*), and thus a statement to the reader that while I tried to write something to disprove my "predilection for procrastination", I failed, thus "con[ing]" myself, and confirming what I said yet disproving my intentions in quite paradoxical fashion
God, that was pretentious.
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Kay Han
21
I like writing, though I can't say that I'm terribly good at it
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