in debt to time in ways I cannot repay
Thursday, June 26, 2014
If lies are drugs, and if lies damage us irrevocably, why do we still take so much? Or are we addicted to the extent that consumption is involuntary? (which is a nasty reflection of the degenerate soul)
Why aren't we strong enough to right ourselves and forge our own happiness from the decay of despair? Somewhere in the thick of it all we are trying to preserve our humanity, to show [the world] that we do care, and we know should we give this up we are no longer worth our salt - all the tears shed, the cold sweats. We refuse that this is happening under standard circumstances and persevere for our salvation.
Arguably things should get better over time, and in the greater scheme of things what, really, is this compared to what there is to come (you think)? If holding out on our own irrationality brings us to a better place, all this would have been worth it. It'd be a fools choice to abandon the future because the present isn't to our liking (even though it is killing us inside). Though if all this is true, are we being daft adolescents living under the prevaricated exaltation that our cause is greater than it actually is?
Amidst it all we continue to run the risk of damaging ourselves. When we past the point of reality and start to construct our own parameters of the truth, delineating our own quixotic world. If we sink too deep or too far we might not be able to drag ourselves back out - and the fear is that because of our folly, the one we desire help from won't be there to pull us out.
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Went to stalk my own tumblr, realised I posted a lot more and revealed a lot more than I thought I did - but still a interesting phase in my life
